You Left, We Stayed

Sunday October 22, 2006
The Star

BY PATRICIA JOHN

I RECEIVED the e-mail last week – Thursday, was it? – and I'm still hopping mad. I thought I'd feel better with a little sea air over the weekend. But no, I was wrong. I'm still mad.

Why is it that people who leave this country – choose to go away – always feel that they need to send us stuff about things that are happening here? It's like they feel we don't know. Duh. We live here.

Like my cousin sending me stuff about our last prime minister. Duh – again. We know already. We have newspapers. We have the Internet. Heck, we even have our own satellite in space-lah.

Remember your double storey semi-dee that was air-conditioned? And your Volvo and your chauffeur and the good life you left behind? The good life that allowed you to save so much money and start again somewhere else?

But I digress.

So, from this great and privileged place where they are, they send us stuff of how bad things are in this land where WE choose to live.

My question is this: Are you saying that your Howard is so great? Is he clean and just and honest? Is he intelligent and farsighted and doing everything right for Australia? Or perhaps your ideal is George W. Bush or Tony Blair? Words fail me when I try to go there!

So what exactly are these ex-Malaysians saying when they send us stuff that is so anti-Malaysia? That we are suckers for still living here? That we should be packing our bags too and high-tailing it to Australia or the United States or England or Canada?

Or are they saying, “See, we were right to leave. It is so bad in your country. We are so smart, not like you, so bodoh, and still sticking it out there where it is so gawd-awful!”

Ok, want to know why I love it here?

Because I belong here. I am Malaysian. My roots are half Indian and half Sri Lankan. My husband's are Chinese. I feel normal here. I walk around and I see people just like me. And I feel comfortable.

I own a house in town and another by the sea – and we are NOT rich Malaysians by any standard.

And as I sit and write this, I am tuned in to Astro and am listening to the most fascinating jazz in Spanish. Later, my daughter will come home and tune in to MTV and I'll leave the room because if I hear one more word in the Laguna Beach accent I will have to hurt someone!

When I feel like it, I will go to the gym down the road, about 20 minutes away. Otherwise, I'll go online and surf and find out why idiots are killing each other in Israel and Lebanon. Or I'll move on to more interesting things like Nigella's to-die-for chocolate pudding recipe. That's because the last time I checked, “they” have not censored the Internet in Malaysia yet!

Hello, relatives and friends in Australia and other places in the world, it is really quite nice here. We are really happy. No, the papers don't lie and feed us with hogwash, any more than they do in your country of choice. And even we know how to read between the lines. Yes, they actually taught us that in school.

Speaking of school: as you have bemoaned, most of the classes are in Malay. But hey, this IS Malaysia, and we should at least know how to read, speak and write in our national language. After all, they speak French in France, don't they? And German in Germany, no? Why they all so mundur and don't teach in English in their schools, ah?

I respect the choices people make. I respect their need to leave this land and go find their fortunes elsewhere. It's in our genes anyway – we're the offspring of people who left China and India and came here. I'll understand when my children say they want to work in Canada and Europe and the United States. I understand the need to go seek new things and learn how the rest of the world lives.

But I also understand that paradise is where you make it. Running to another land is not where it's going to be. It is here: with the man you love, your daughter, your son, your dogs; with your mum and your wonderful sisters; with your lovely home and garden and with your friends.

If you know who you are and what you want, then you will be happy. There's no need to fly away. Listen with your heart and you will find it's been here all along, and you never knew. I've always known. Always. And life is good.