Things are getting better now... and its really refreshing to come back into His presence. Learn to stand in the presence even though its hard to do so. And yet, staying with Him is something so sweet... undescribable... and now I learn a new song that cut deep into my heart. I thank God, each time I am down, He raise me up with a new song, like David always got new songs.
Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Meskipun badai silih berganti dalam hidupku
Ku tetap cinta Yesus selamanya
Ya Allah Bapa
Ini aku anakMu
Layakkanlah seluruh hidupku
Ya Allah Bapa
Ini aku anakMu
Pakailah sesuai dengan rencanaMu
Friday, October 28, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Dryness in desert...
Last time I always hear the people talking about 'the darkest period of her life', I wonder how is it to be emotionally and spiritually down. And praise God that He allows me to experience it also :P
For the past 3 weeks I have been struggling with joylessness, and although I always portray myself to be happy by the smileys I attach in all smses I send to people, I am actually hiding a lot without realising it. and Psalms 88 really resembles my situation.
And for almost 3 weekends I wept every Saturday/Sunday night, and poured out to God my heartcry in various things. Insecurities, fear, rejection, feeling helpless, which is often not true, but yet I wonder why I succumbed to feelings, as I am not so emotional before. On certain days, I was uplifted by intimate fellowship with God, and on certain days I feel so dry and disconnected from Him. Each time I tried to read the Word, its so dry, dead, and doesn't speak to me anything. I tried to talk to God, but my spirit just don't feel like doing so. I'm like forcing myself to pray. I've skipped prayer meeting for 2 weeks already.
I desperately need times of refreshing with God... and I believe that this period God is testing me and bringing me to another level. But I am still fighting and pressing on. Please wrestle with me in prayer.
For the past 3 weeks I have been struggling with joylessness, and although I always portray myself to be happy by the smileys I attach in all smses I send to people, I am actually hiding a lot without realising it. and Psalms 88 really resembles my situation.
And for almost 3 weekends I wept every Saturday/Sunday night, and poured out to God my heartcry in various things. Insecurities, fear, rejection, feeling helpless, which is often not true, but yet I wonder why I succumbed to feelings, as I am not so emotional before. On certain days, I was uplifted by intimate fellowship with God, and on certain days I feel so dry and disconnected from Him. Each time I tried to read the Word, its so dry, dead, and doesn't speak to me anything. I tried to talk to God, but my spirit just don't feel like doing so. I'm like forcing myself to pray. I've skipped prayer meeting for 2 weeks already.
I desperately need times of refreshing with God... and I believe that this period God is testing me and bringing me to another level. But I am still fighting and pressing on. Please wrestle with me in prayer.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Study
One day I study under the tree in front of my hostel block. Its so cooling and refreshing. Manage to capture some pictures.
Farewell
the graduates except the middle and the shortest girl
Jaclyn worship leading, with Cheah Yen, Yiko, Jia Huei, Roger, Amanda, Nat in the team.had our CA farewell celebration last few weeks. Its a really edifying time for me, even as I graduate from INTEC and CA. This is the group that really cheered me in the race, that provided me the fellowship to find my significance, the encouragement to grow and achieve my potential, the love and support that I need in times of trouble. Thank God for such a wonderful family that He has all over the world.
The 2005 group
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